Pith | Sinister Regard

Pith : Page 3

Jesus saves

But even He's gonna weep fat baby tears if He doesn't also remember to back up. Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read

Insomnia

I have trouble sleeping while there are children starving in my city. Why can't they be quieter about it? Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read

Box office

Yes, I chose Bush over Gore, but I thought the question was late-night cable. Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read

Illiteracy campaign

Teach a child to read and that's just more royalties for Dr. Phil. Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read

How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb

I bought one. Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read

Refreshing

When life gives you lemons, extract the citric acid and spray it in life's eyes. Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read

Motion

It's not the size of the boat—it's the whammo of the ammo. Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read

Squirrels rule the early morning streets. I have to pay a tribute of Cheetos just to retrieve my paper from the stoop unmolested. Damn those orange-pawed monsters! Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read

Jammed keys

I have an intimate relationship with my typewriter. That makes it difficult to keep the roller clean. Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read

To do

My life pretty much depends on making a to-do list, but I kept forgetting to put it on my to-do list. Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read