Perry Slaughter | Sinister Regard

Perry Slaughter : Page 4

Refreshing

When life gives you lemons, extract the citric acid and spray it in life's eyes. Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read

Motion

It's not the size of the boat—it's the whammo of the ammo. Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read

Squirrels rule the early morning streets. I have to pay a tribute of Cheetos just to retrieve my paper from the stoop unmolested. Damn those orange-pawed monsters! Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read

Jammed keys

I have an intimate relationship with my typewriter. That makes it difficult to keep the roller clean. Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read

To do

My life pretty much depends on making a to-do list, but I kept forgetting to put it on my to-do list. Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read

Eat nothing but potato chips and still lose weight!

I call it the Horse Latitudes Diet. It worked for me. Just limit yourself to two per day. Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read

Scars

It's no accident my voice sounds like this. It's takes a special kind of man to get a brand on his vocal cords. Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read

Horizons

I hate flying. I have ever since my father threatened to let go of the kite string. Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read

Piping hot

Children are terrific. Especially with a nice pomegranate glaze. Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read

Attend

The only education worth a damn is self-education. Crossposted from Perry Slaughter read